"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places."

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“I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.”

“I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.”

“A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower.”

“When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up.”

“My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.”

“I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.”

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"I have had a very difficult last 5 years or so. A lot of shit going on in my personal life. A lot of shit that made me very fucking angry. This album is the result. A healthy way to let it all out."

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"What are wanted for the Indian as for the Englishman, the Frenchman, the German, and the Russian, are not Constitutions and Revolutions, nor all sorts of Conferences and Congresses, nor the many ingen…"

— Leo Tolstoy

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"Various sociopolitical movements are oriented to the nostrums of ‘social justice,’ favoring entitlements for all those with economic disparity. They struggle for what is scientifically impossible: equ…"

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"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself . It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."

— C. S. Lewis

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