"You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once."

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“I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.”

“I used to suck until they were all white, let them dry, and then put them back in the packet and show my mum the Smarties with no colour on them.”

“I had a garter snake named Clayton.”

“I don’t think I’d have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I’d have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And some crisps.”

“In Edinburgh? I quite like the City Cafe. Because you never get served in there. And I like the idea that you can go in there for three hours and still not get your order. I think that’s quite funny. And then when you say ‘Can I have some food - I’m wasting away,’ they have the audacity to tut at you. When there’s only four of you in there. Fuckers. They should all be shot in the face. Sorry. I’m only joking. And I’m really tired.”

“I've always had my suspicions about moss.”

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"The real purpose of state secrecy is to enable governments to establish their own self-interested and often mendacious version of the truth by the careful selection of “facts” to be passed on to the p…"

— Patrick Cockburn

Journalism1950

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"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, because we all have nicknames. So I named my private part Pride. It's not much, but at least I have my Pride."

— Jay London

Entertainment1966

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"Life is given in its own way, in a completely unique way, even though this singular mode of givenness is universal. Life is given in such a way that what it gives is given to itself and that what it g…"

— Michel Henry

Philosophy1922–2002

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