Eddie Murphy

"You don't even have to be able to talk. Just sing and get famous. 'Cause James Brown's been singin' 30 years. I don't know what the fuck James is talkin' about!"

"I'll tell you somethin', motherfucker! You can take your motherfuckin' hairy, fat-ass moustache bitch out the fuck!! You can go upstairs and get the motherfuckin' dog and scoop up the shit, and take E…"

"Gus?! What the fuck is wrong with your wife?! Why can't she walk a flight of steps?! You come here every year, Gus, and you burn down my motherfuckin' backyard, and your wife rips down the steps! Why?…"

"I have nothing against homosexuals. I think an orgasm is your thing, and you should fuck whoever the fuck you feel like fucking. Whoever makes you come the hardest. Anybody who says you shouldn't, pol…"

"I got mad, I was hanging out with Stevie two months ago. I said, 'Look, Steve, I get too much motherfuckin' flak over this impression. I don't like doin' it, I ain't doin' this shit no more.' Stevie s…"

"Michael Jackson, who can sing, and is a good lookin' guy - but ain't the most masculine fellow in the world."

"'I heard that shit, man! That shit wasn't funny! Then I suppose at the end of your little sketch, Stevie crashed into a tree, right? Ha ha, very funny, motherfucker! Your mother got a wooden leg with …"

"A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No." So the bear wip…"