Gracie Allen

"All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for this country, which is ridiculous. I haven’t done anything yet, and I think it’s just common sense to send me to Washingt…"

"I’m having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there’s no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something…"

"You're the only boy who ever made me cry, and I decided that if you could make me cry, I must really love you."

"Presidents are made, not born. That’s a good thing to remember. It’s silly to think that Presidents are born, because very few people are 35 years old at birth, and those who are won’t admit it. So if…"

"This country needs room to grow and expand. In all my own newspapers I read frightful tales of the shameful atrocities being perpetrated on our Democratic minorities in Maine and Vermont. My patience …"

"As a well-known great man would have said if he had thought of it, “Don’t go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down."

"One of the greatest problems today is about the people who would rather be right than be President. I have a solution for that. You can be Left and President: that way you can eat your cake and halve …"

"I was so surprised at being born that I didn't speak for a year and a half."