Jeff Stilson

"I have tremendous respect for women after watching my wife give birth three times. I could never, ever raise a child to whom I gave birth. You know, because a newborn is about the size of a basketball…"

"I'm trying to wean myself off sports, it's too time consuming. I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give cr…"

"I've been married eight and a half years. I like being married, too. I like being married for two reasons. One, I got really tired to dating, and two, I got really tired of exercising. I don't underst…"

"It's very stressful becoming a parent. You know what was hard for me? Coming up with names for our children. I panic when I have to name a new document on my computer.... I got so desperate toward the…"

"It's actually quite difficult to stay awake while watch golf on television. It's a great sleep inducer. I think this is why the commentators in golf whisper. They don't want to wake you up. 'Looks lik…"